so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
