I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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