are you still at the devil's house?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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