Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
tell me about the fingering
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