So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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