And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize