I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
