it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Say something about gay babies.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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