do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
