Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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