No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
