okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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