Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
