then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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