Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
