Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
