Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Couch. On fire.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
