R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
