I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
