ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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