I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
