the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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