this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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