Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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