And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
