Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
