You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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