Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I licked your asshole in confidence.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize