i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize