There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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