you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize