I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize