Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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