As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
