tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize