I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Houston, we have a squirter
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
