I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
