I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
