this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
