what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
