I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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