I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
