i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
