I puked a lego.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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