I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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