no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
