whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
