i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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