Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he thought i was a dude.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
