Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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