So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am mentally ready for anal.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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