Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
