THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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