Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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