I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
