I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
last night I used snow as a chaser
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
