I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
