why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
