It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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